I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
