i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
