Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Randomize
