was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Even my vagina gasped.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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