I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
