this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
