eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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