my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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