sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Shame - the story of my life.
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