ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
