You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My dick has a subreddit
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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