Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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