the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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