she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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