i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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