your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize