thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
