you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
