My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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