every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
