A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
