The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize