She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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