Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
