Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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