so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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