I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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