We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
