please come you make the beer taste better
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
