Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
