Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
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I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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