I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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