I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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