And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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