Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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