She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
