i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
