You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
