I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize