break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
