I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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