Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.

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(203): Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess. http://tfl.nu/gcqa

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(970): View more from Colorado

last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!

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(970): last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!! http://tfl.nu/1bv7

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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.

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(330): Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt. http://tfl.nu/yvoh

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"

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(484): the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?" http://tfl.nu/cfh8

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.

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(781): tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner. http://tfl.nu/1bdt

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(734): View more from Michigan

I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that

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(734): I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that http://tfl.nu/jwk4

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(512): View more from Texas

the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys

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(512): the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys http://tfl.nu/w106

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(925): View more from California

I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'

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(925): I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized' http://tfl.nu/3ov3

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(773): View more from Illinois

That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper

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(773): That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper http://tfl.nu/zcg4

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(678): View more from Georgia

Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs

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(678): Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs http://tfl.nu/z2xs

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(205): View more from Alabama

I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.

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(205): I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/mhcf

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(916): View more from California

He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.

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(916): He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/zvxf

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(440): View more from Ohio

I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog

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(440): I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog http://tfl.nu/oyfd

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic

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(601): Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic http://tfl.nu/3mbn

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(323): View more from California

Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not

(818): View more from California

Stop it right now

(323): View more from California

This time face forward

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(323): Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not (818): Stop it right now (323): This time face forward http://tfl.nu/ev7s

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