Texts From Last Night

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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  The worlds most fuckable chipmunk

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  (862): The worlds most fuckable chipmunk http://tfl.nu/klow
  Replies (6) Good night (1084) Bad night (715)
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  (212): View more from New York

  we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady

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  (212): we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady http://tfl.nu/of3l
  Replies (7) Good night (1993) Bad night (571)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine

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  (703): She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine http://tfl.nu/jb79
  Replies (41) Good night (734) Bad night (5310)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.

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  (712): I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled. http://tfl.nu/klod
  Replies (37) Good night (5266) Bad night (674)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.

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  (631): i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties. http://tfl.nu/jppt
  Replies (18) Good night (4113) Bad night (1104)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?

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  (801): two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me? http://tfl.nu/3spk
  Replies (10) Good night (997) Bad night (3984)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.

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  (307): Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor. http://tfl.nu/j4rc
  Replies (17) Good night (6302) Bad night (1007)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea

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  (229): I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea http://tfl.nu/nypc
  Replies (10) Good night (788) Bad night (3019)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??

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  (304): Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away?? http://tfl.nu/5x5i
  Replies (4) Good night (1636) Bad night (1138)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's

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  (774): the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's http://tfl.nu/a401
  Replies (16) Good night (2280) Bad night (956)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.

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  (865): I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it. http://tfl.nu/3j3f
  Replies (4) Good night (501) Bad night (1405)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?

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  (228): I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL? http://tfl.nu/0gju
  Replies (9) Good night (1248) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.

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  (318): Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass. http://tfl.nu/dq3p
  Replies (8) Good night (1240) Bad night (448)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.

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  (970): My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment. http://tfl.nu/pqim
  Replies (0) Good night (551) Bad night (174)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on

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  (225): I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on http://tfl.nu/vdcw
  Replies (2) Good night (244) Bad night (485)

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