Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I didn't shave. On purpose

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  (704): I didn't shave. On purpose http://tfl.nu/ll6a
  Replies (11) Good night (756) Bad night (1095)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants

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  (816): I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants http://tfl.nu/4wl5
  Replies (40) Good night (4685) Bad night (634)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME

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  (979): I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME http://tfl.nu/ljwk
  Replies (35) Good night (1152) Bad night (4473)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

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  (610): so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried. http://tfl.nu/cyhc
  Replies (12) Good night (1058) Bad night (5121)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night

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  (435): Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night http://tfl.nu/xeqd
  Replies (19) Good night (1983) Bad night (1280)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready

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  (515): P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready http://tfl.nu/rgh6
  Replies (15) Good night (1828) Bad night (1427)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??

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  (954): My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted?? http://tfl.nu/5rk7
  Replies (7) Good night (1969) Bad night (561)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab

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  (505): I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab http://tfl.nu/ok4v
  Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (674)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.

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  (720): Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong. http://tfl.nu/slbv
  Replies (12) Good night (1148) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.

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  (218): He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small. http://tfl.nu/riyf
  Replies (17) Good night (410) Bad night (2592)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick

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  (336): At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick http://tfl.nu/8ojw
  Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (347)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  great clearly means different things to us

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  (919): The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories (1-919): Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences (919): great clearly means different things to us http://tfl.nu/ha8x
  Replies (2) Good night (886) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice

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  (440): its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice http://tfl.nu/6xmq
  Replies (0) Good night (643) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.

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  (989): You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face. http://tfl.nu/p4hv
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.

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  (509): I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today. http://tfl.nu/71ff
  Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (235)

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