Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  they had a keg party to fund her abortion.

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  (617): they had a keg party to fund her abortion. http://tfl.nu/e4dr
  Replies (79) Good night (2765) Bad night (5267)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!

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  (856): FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?! http://tfl.nu/ganv
  Replies (70) Good night (5280) Bad night (9839)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know how to spell recollection?

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  (724): You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there (412): You know how to spell recollection? http://tfl.nu/3vjh
  Replies (16) Good night (5611) Bad night (1511)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.

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  (907): everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort. http://tfl.nu/2zhz
  Replies (15) Good night (4828) Bad night (1197)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?

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  (225): So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand? http://tfl.nu/cltx
  Replies (4) Good night (1937) Bad night (1635)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"

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  (617): We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?" http://tfl.nu/sgk0
  Replies (18) Good night (1040) Bad night (4943)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.

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  (402): Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/4vu7
  Replies (16) Good night (2571) Bad night (857)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.

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  (214): Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming. http://tfl.nu/yp4i
  Replies (21) Good night (1559) Bad night (1469)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.

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  (616): Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry. http://tfl.nu/rf2y
  Replies (7) Good night (1600) Bad night (680)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.

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  (406): Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor. http://tfl.nu/e8dt
  Replies (8) Good night (1137) Bad night (617)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.

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  (678): It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls. http://tfl.nu/0s5d
  Replies (6) Good night (1279) Bad night (711)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.

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  (830): Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it. http://tfl.nu/ngu5
  Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (495)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife

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  (651): My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife http://tfl.nu/29ie
  Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (795)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test

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  (804): He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test http://tfl.nu/c376
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (304)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.

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  (570): I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial. http://tfl.nu/6psg
  Replies (0) Good night (340) Bad night (197)

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