Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Where did you get a picture of my penis

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  (610): Where did you get a picture of my penis http://tfl.nu/yfi8
  Replies (11) Good night (1254) Bad night (673)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her

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  (610): She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her http://tfl.nu/saue
  Replies (21) Good night (4993) Bad night (992)
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  (442): View more from California

  seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong

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  (442): seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong http://tfl.nu/rvkg
  Replies (16) Good night (1682) Bad night (3702)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression

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  (215): I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression http://tfl.nu/rcf4
  Replies (5) Good night (661) Bad night (3943)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.

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  (757): Just try to lay there and not be pregnant. http://tfl.nu/a665
  Replies (56) Good night (1445) Bad night (6846)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.

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  (202): He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like. http://tfl.nu/n0vb
  Replies (6) Good night (3157) Bad night (930)
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  (916): View more from California

  I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk

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  (916): I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk http://tfl.nu/o3lp
  Replies (12) Good night (2290) Bad night (901)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.

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  (206): After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team. http://tfl.nu/bf8i
  Replies (12) Good night (4144) Bad night (1029)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.

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  (214): One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair. http://tfl.nu/h2x0
  Replies (5) Good night (2758) Bad night (1007)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.

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  (325): The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her. http://tfl.nu/fi1h
  Replies (33) Good night (1780) Bad night (4209)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?

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  (517): i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother? http://tfl.nu/7lqg
  Replies (8) Good night (1979) Bad night (1091)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.

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  (615): I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza. http://tfl.nu/b1m9
  Replies (0) Good night (861) Bad night (589)
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  (209): View more from California

  Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.

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  (209): Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die. http://tfl.nu/72xy
  Replies (9) Good night (589) Bad night (1247)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...

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  (617): Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed... http://tfl.nu/fkp9
  Replies (7) Good night (1426) Bad night (691)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  see that vagina ? that vagina means business

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  (931): see that vagina ? that vagina means business http://tfl.nu/d7zl
  Replies (4) Good night (603) Bad night (298)

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