You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.