Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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