Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
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thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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