i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's just like the Real World with babies
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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