those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
