shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
