I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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