I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
