yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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