but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
