so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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