one might say we're banned from that church
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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