he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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