i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Sober January is a disaster.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
