Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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