I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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