i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
