carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
