plz talk dirty to me
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize