Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
