Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
