I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
