Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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