I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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